Sunday, April 19, 2015

Close As Our Own Backyard...

"How many children do you have?"

It's the question I love.  It's the question I dread.  Most of the time I just say, "I have four!" and hope they leave it at that.  But they usually don't.  There are some that want more information, as I would.  Boys, girls?  How old are they? Do they all get along?  I take a deep breath - knowing that this could be the conversation ender right here...

"I have four, but two are in Heaven."

Silence.  Gasp.  Then comes the I'm sorrys and the awkward comments and wide eyes that scream "get me out of this conversation!!!"

No one likes to talk about death.  It's just the truth.  But where does that leave the Mom who wants to talk about the life of their child?  I love to tell people that I got to hold Darcy for 5 1/2 hours on Mother's Day.  My first Mother's Day as a Mom of a daughter.  I love to talk about Gavin, as you know, and tell people how incredible he was.  But death has a way of becoming a big road block.  That's unfortunate.

I also love talking about my two children that are here on Earth!  
Brian is getting sweeter and smarter and cooler every day.  This past Friday night was a planned "Mother/Son" event hosted by his school.  Nearly all the boys and their Moms were going to a baseball game about an hour away.  Now, I really don't care for baseball (or any sports!) but I didn't tell Brian that!  I bought the tickets and told him how excited I was.  The day before the big game, we realized that rain was in the forecast.  That was it for Brian.  He decided that it didn't sound like much fun at all to sit in the rain.  He also wasn't keen on the long drive - or the late night.  As a reminder, he is six.  Not seventy six.  Moving on...

We decided that we should come up with a "Plan B."  Brian's "Plan B" was for the two of us to go to the Movie Tavern and then to Arnold's Family Fun Center! So that is just what we did.  We had dinner and warm brownies at the Movie Tavern and saw "Home" (which we don't recommend)...
...and then we went to Arnold's!  We had a blast.  We played Skee Ball and Air Hockey.  Brian won the jackpot on a video game...
... and we played Black Light Miniature Golf!  He definitely gets his golf skills from his Daddy.
We laughed and laughed that night.  On the way out of Arnold's Brian said, "Hey Mom!  Get me dancing on video!"  He really plays a mean air guitar.
The night wasn't what we had planned, but we definitely got the "Mother/Son" part just right.
Brian is such a great brother to Hope.  As she gets bigger and more active, they get closer and closer.  She loves to watch for his bus on school days.  Now that the weather is getting warmer, we are outside a lot.  The other day, she wandered around on the driveway and her head would pop up every time she heard something that sounded like a bus.  She just couldn't wait for him to come home!
Then finally... the big moment!  She RAN up the driveway to greet him.
It's hard to believe that Hope is 16 months.  Not just because 16 months flew by too fast... but because of all she does for her age!!  This little one is so confident and daring.  It's equal parts awesome and terrifying!  Inside - with hundreds of options in the playroom - she chooses to climb.  She'll climb on the coffee table - on the couch.  She'll climb on any chair she can find and pull out and she always has a cute, mischievous grin when she does it.
It's pretty difficult to get anything accomplished when she's awake, so when I do - even something simple - I feel like Wonder Woman!!  But typically I have a solution when she's awake and I need to do things.  It looks a little bit like this...
...and a lot like this:  
I am a Mom of four.  Two on Earth and two in Heaven.

Some days, Heaven doesn't seem that far away.
Some days... it's as close as our own backyard.


  1. An unimportant question- what didn't you like about Home? Was thinking of taking my son to see it.

    1. I thought the premise was sweet and, admittedly, we were both touched by the story and the end. But I thought it was a little bit "fresh." Let me explain it this way... there is "Tom and Jerry" and "Spongebob" - and then there's "Sofia the First" and "Mr. Rogers." Every few minutes, Brian would say things like - "That was mean of him to hit him" or "Mommy, she called him stupid - that's a bad word" - or "Why are they being so mean?" Maybe we're a bit pollyanna over here - but I just thought it was a little too slapstick and sarcastic for him. We also saw Cinderella a few weeks ago with the Frozen short in the beginning. HIGHLY recommend that! We'd see it again!!

  2. You have 2 who run and 2 who fly ❤️

  3. I know losing your child is infinitely worse, but whenever anyone asks how many siblings we have my sister and I automatically say 2. We grew up as a 3, we'll always be a 3. Saying there are just 2 of us is like we're dishonouring our oldest sister, like she never existed. It's even worse when people find out our dad died 16 weeks before my sister. I know it's not normal to lose half of your family in 16 weeks, how I wish it wasn't our normal, but it is our normal. It's the same with our mum, she still wears her wedding ring and in the 11 years since my dad died she has never been on a date, as she says, no other man could measure up to my dad. She also says she has 3 children. Just because they're gone, doesn't mean they never existed.

  4. That shot of Brian pushing Hope in the swing is amazing! Great kids - great capture.

    Bummed to hear Home was not a winner - I love the styling of the heroine, and that she's actually a little girl instead of the typical "young" woman that often a little too sexualized for me.


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