Today I had a glimpse of you like I've never had before. I feel like I was invited to peek into a secret world that many never see... and it was such a beautiful privilege.
Actually, being your Mommy is a privilege! Since the day I knew you were in my womb, I have loved you. Your Daddy and I feel honored to be gifted with a daughter and just know that there are special things in store for you. In our eyes, your mere existence is a complete miracle to us.
As I looked at the screen and saw your sweet face... your rosebud lips... and watched you yawn... I pictured you in my arms. I can't wait to figure out "our song" and "our book" and "our routine..." just like I did with your brothers. I just can't wait for all of us to get to know you.
Hope, I want you to know that you are joining a very unique family. Some people might see us as having a sad history - but you will soon be in on the secret.
Our family is not sad at all. You will learn that you have a sister in Heaven named Darcy. Perhaps you've already met her! I never had the chance to know her - to find out what her personality was like - to see what she would look like. But she has left a beautiful mark on our hearts that has made us stronger, wiser and more compassionate. And as we share her story with you - and celebrate her special days with you - you will realize that she will leave the same mark on your heart. Your big sister.
And you will learn all about your big brother, Gavin. Perhaps you've met him already, too. You will realize how strong and brave and wise and loving he was. I have two big brothers and always felt like they protected and watched over me. Lucky you will also have two big brothers - and, in their own ways, they will do the same. We were so, very sad when Gavin was taken from us. But that did not, in any way, take away from our joy in knowing you were on your way to us. Somehow, sweet Hope, God has given us the gift of grace... and the gift to be able to balance delicately between these two incredible events. We will pass all of the gifts and lessons that we've learned to you and your brother. Because of Gavin and because of Darcy, you will have extra special qualities that are part of our "secret family recipe." But this is a secret that is okay to be shared - and I hope that you do share it with the world as you grow.
Your Daddy and I are so happy that you've been sent to us. And we are excited to see how our family will change and grow and deepen and widen in every way when you come home. And your big brother, Brian, is eagerly anticipating Christmas this year! He talks to you every day and gets so, so happy when he feels you move for him. Have you heard him talking to you? Your little conversations are already so special. You're going to love Brian. I think the two of you will have an instant bond.
Today the doctor told me that you couldn't look more perfect. He said you are growing right on target and as of today - 28 weeks and 3 days into my pregnancy - you weigh two pounds, ten ounces. If you are born on target - you're expected to be seven pounds! If that happens, you'll be my biggest baby!
He also told me that you already have lots of hair - and showed me what it looks like on ultrasound! Incredible. I'm so grateful for technology. The little spikey white lines is your hair!
I am still believing you born, Hope. And I know that the four of us - with Gavin and Darcy by our side always - will make an incredible earthly team.
You are so loved, Hope Margaret Leong.