Monday, September 9, 2013

A New Beginning...

It has been a long summer of mourning.  And muddling through.  If you're wondering, mothering while mourning is not for the faint of heart.  I'm not at all implying that I was good at it - not even close.  There were many days over this summer alone with Brian that I had to depend on my Scooby Doo survival skills.  And by that I mean... I let Brian watch a lot of Scooby Doo while I stared at the wall and reminded myself to breathe.

But the Summer is now turning into Fall.
And just as the Fall of 2007 promised us a new beginning as a family as we awaited Gavin's birth, this Fall promises us a different type of new beginning.
This beginning doesn't mean that anything is ending.  Our family will always include Gavin, Brian, Darcy... and soon, Hope.  Nothing is ending with this new beginning of ours...
...we're just beginning again in a new way.  And today was the first big step.  Brian's first day of school.
He was very excited to go.  And I was very excited to send him.  Not because I wanted to be away from him... but because he needed a new beginning, too.  He needed the consistency and routine that becomes a comfort to children.  He needed to be around other kids his age and not his Mommy all day.  It's only three hours a day, five days a week - but it's perfect.  I'm so, so happy for Brian.
Maybe you're thinking... "This is pretty dramatic for a "First Day of School" post."  And maybe it does seem that way.  But from where I sit - today symbolized so much more.

From this moment on, nothing will be the same.  Brian will be in school every day... Hope is around the corner... our family landscape is changing very quickly.  And just as it is with any change in our lives, we can either adapt and roll with it... or stay stuck and stubborn.  We owe it to Gavin and to his siblings to adapt.  That's the only choice for us and we make it with love.

This morning couldn't have gone better.  I dressed Brian in green - my favorite color and the color I think of when I think of new beginnings... fresh starts... hope.  He loved his backpack and his new pants that had pockets on the legs.  He couldn't wait to get into that school.
On the way over in the car he said...
"Mama - you can walk me to my classroom, okay?"
I replied...
"Buddy, I think the Moms and Dads have to drop the kids off outside, just like your old school!"
And he said...
"That's ok, Mom.  They'll understand.  It's a special day.  It will make you happy.  You can walk me to my classroom today and tomorrow you can drop me off."

How can you argue with that?

I followed him down the hall and watched him slowly creep up to his classroom.
He bravely inched his way to the door and peeked around the corner.
And then, he was confident.  He remembered what Miss Kristen told him - as soon as you come in, find your name on the apples and place it on the tree so everyone knows who is here today.  And with that, I kissed him goodbye.  (p.s. - his backpack looks humongous because it's stuffed with items he needed to bring in to leave in his cubby.  It's not really that big!!)
I came home and accomplished a LOT - even though my goal was to sit in silence and stare at the wall.  Once I was home, that seemed like a waste of time!  I couldn't wait to pick him up, though.  And when I did, he was so excited and happy.  He had a great morning.  The two of us went to Wegmans for lunch where I tried to get details from him about his day... to no avail.

Afterward, we celebrated his First Day of School by going to his (and Gavin's!) favorite place in town:  Arnold's Family Fun Center!

I'll let these pictures tell the story...
Here's to a new beginning...


  1. Brian is just a beautiful little boy. He is so caring and considerate. Not every little boy is like that. Thank you again for taking me on this journey with your family. I am looking forward to Hope's birth and watching her grow.

  2. What a little gem! You are such a good mom. Your children are so blessed that you are their shining star, their keeper and their guide through life.

  3. Love and hugs to you, Kate!!!! What a beautiful first day of school post!!!!

  4. You are a fantastic Mom. So glad Brian (and you!) had a great day of school.

  5. So happy to hear it was a great day for both of you!!!! Enjoy those precious hours knowing he's happy and having fun!

  6. Blessings to you all for this new beginning and what it symbolizes for ALL of your family and prayers for continued grace and HOPE in the coming months.

  7. Love the way that he said you could go with him and the way he crept upto the door. What a neat way for the teacher to have them come in the room-giving them a "task" right away.

  8. I have said it a 100 times! BUT HE IS SO CUTE! It was so sweet that he wanted you to take him to his room! He also has a "wise" soul! And I am sure Gavin is part of that! We need an update on baby Hope! :)

  9. A very special day for a very special (and might I add very spiffy looking) little boy! Just one hint from this grandma, getting information from little boys about school, in my experience, is like trying to nail jello to the wall. They are slippery little things that never quite cooperate. At least that's what I found with my son and grandson. Sometimes they mess up and let a little info slip out. :)
    I used tease my son that I didnt know why he bothered to go to school because he never learned anything. Anytime I would ask what did you learn today, the answer was always nothing! I even tried the parenting advice of the 80's of asking their favorite thing of the day. The answer was always "I dunno". Now, my daughter and granddaughter, they give you a minute by minute play by play of the day. But those little boys sure do steal a Mommas heart! I still think of you and Gavin and your family often, Kate. And always say a prayer for your family. Much love from Arkansas.

  10. You and your family never cease to amaze me. You have a God-given gift to change the lives of others. No, it isn't just Gavin but you,your hubby, Brian and now precious Hope too. You are in my thoughts daily. Blessings


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