Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Pre-School Plans...

Today was a tough day for me.  My cold is getting worse and I spent most of the day battling a headache, clogged ears and fogginess.  You know that foggy cold feeling?  So, "Mommy Boot Camp" turned into the "Mommy Survival Club."  The poor boys did not get "fun" Mommy today.  Well, I kind of flickered between fun and zombie so I guess it wasn't all bad.  Dr. Brian was on me all day to "keep drinking water and tea, Mommy" and I was a very good patient.  And I've been taking oil of oregano three times a day.  I HAVE to be better for my nephew, Dan's, wedding on Saturday!!!

I made a decision today about Brian.  As I mentioned a few weeks back, he has been "kicked out" of his current preschool because he no longer needs speech services.  Great news!  But in looking around at local preschools, it quickly dawned on me that a summer session is not the norm.  Gavin and Brian have both been in school through the summers.  I would hate to pull him out of his current school - have him sit around all summer while Gavin's in school - and then plop him in a brand new school after months out of his normal routine.  
So I talked to his teacher today and she said it's okay for him to stay through the summer.  By Fall he'll be ready to start a new preschool program and I know he'll do great!  Brian has come a long way.  To think that this time last year he was barely talking.  Ha!

When the boys were babies and it was clear that Gavin wasn't "catching up" developmentally, I spent a lot of time reading about child development.  It's something that's always interested me.  Some people may not agree with my parenting style when it comes to certain things, but I feel like it's working for our boys.  Definitely Brian, for sure.  Like sleeping.  Ed thought I was nuts, but I rarely (if ever) let the boys cry at night.  My feeling was - babies need reassurance that you're there.  So, for the first six-nine months, I answered every call.  They got accustomed to me "being there" and, I think, felt secure.  When it came time for them to sleep on their own and wait for us to "wake them" in the morning, they did!  I felt like I had spent months proving to them that I was on the other side of the door...so once it really closed, they knew I wasn't far.  I won't count Gavin since he is literally zipped into his bed, but to this day - Brian will NOT get out of bed until someone comes in to start the day.  On days that there isn't school, the boys don't see our faces until 8am.  No one told Brian - ever - that he had to stay in bed!!  Trust me, I realize how lucky we are.  Perhaps it's just their personalities and absolutely nothing we did... but that was just my style. Plus, I loved - and I mean LOVED - those late night snuggles.

I also closely watch their behaviors for clues.  This is what prompted my "Love Bomb" idea.  I knew when Brian would start acting out in ways that weren't like him that he was actually trying to communicate a need - but didn't know how.  Don't get me wrong, there is discipline in our house.  But truly, it's not needed that often.  We're big on communicating feelings and always tell the boys that it's okay to feel frustrated, sad, mad, lonely, etc...  (I can't wait until Gavin can communicate his!)  When Brian can communicate his feelings he is less likely to act out.  

Having Brian so closely after Gavin was such a gift in so many ways.  But the extra effort I put into wanting to understand child development - especially psychological development - was one of the biggest.  I definitely want to be "on top" of any sibling issues that may crop up as Brian gets older and he realizes more and more that his brother is "different."

I found this piece circulating on the internet today and thought I'd share it with all of you.  If you click it, it will get bigger so you can read it.  It really sums up how I feel and think!!




2 comments:

  1. This is such a true post. Children are not mean by nature and don't do things on purpose.
    They are just asking for help the best that they can. God bless you for learning this and using it on your boys.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, NanaRose! Are you really a "Nana?" If so, I appreciate the validation even more! I am lucky that I had great parents and an especially emotive Father. Connecting emotionally with my children is my greatest joy and I hope as they grow, it will only deepen.

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