I have been accused of being slightly overprotective of Gavin. And by slightly I of course mean EXTREMELY- in bold caps - to the point that I'm sure at least once someone whispered (She's crazy!) behind my back.
But, since Gavin started school this past August, I've been pretty proud of how I've changed. Slowly I have found myself backing off. Mind you, it's millimeter by millimeter - but it's a start! I don't realize how it's affecting him, really, until I see him with Brian. By now you all know how I feel about those brothers - the dynamic duo.
I have always worried that Brian wouldn't connect with Gavin - wouldn't be able to relate to him - and, physically, wouldn't really be able to play with him. Thus began my devastating, tumultuous quest for a sibling which was just one tragedy after another.
But I digress.
Lately, as I watch from behind the half wall or in between the branches of the ficus tree or from around a corner - spying on them as they play - I've noticed that Brian is trying more and more to engage with his big brother. Typically, Brian will either try to include Gavin in a game - or he'll start to "do" something to him. Before he "does" anything, though, he always makes a sideways glance to gauge my reaction.
Lately, I've tried to remain neutral - letting him make his own decisions and trying to not freak out at all - and he has made the right call (like not putting a bucket on Gavin's head to cover his eyes... or not wrestling with him) the majority of the time.
It makes me so, so happy when I am driving Brian home from school an I hear him say from the backseat "I can't wait to show Gavin..." or "When Gavin gets home we can..." I love that he loves his brother so much!!
I have this new "thing" that I do with the boys. I dramatically exclaim "Oh no! I forgot!!" and smack my forehead - I'm completely immersed in the acting to the point that I'm beginning to believe I could be a method actor. Seriously...I am that good. (I hear you whispering again...) Brian loves this - he falls for it a lot and looks at me with wide eyes waiting to hear what it is that I could have possibly forgotten that is SO important. It's then that I say - "I forgot to tell you - I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!" I end Gavin's with a tickle, which he loves. So, this week - Brian has decided to do his own version. My little protegé. I've heard him say to Gavin, "Gavin! I forgot! I! LOVE! YOUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!" and then I hear "Tickle, Tickle, Tickle!"
There are definitely days when I am down about my (extremely) unsuccessful (big time!) attempt to have another child. But lately I have been reminded by these brothers that we are always given just what we need. Life is one big lesson. And just when you think you're about to master it - the lesson plan changes.
Tomorrow afternoon, Ed and I are running away for a little "before the winter" R&R! I won't be writing until Monday. Enjoy your week! And, as always, I am thankful for all of you - from all over the world - that love our little family.