Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Love Bombing...

I'm finding that I'm slowly getting used to our new life.  The much earlier wake up call, the brisk Fall air as we wait in the driveway for the bus that takes Gavin to school, the time alone with Brian after he comes home from school and then picking up Gavin and Miss Sara at the end of their day.

The only thing that I still struggle with - the second hand account of Gavin's day.

Make no mistake.  Miss Sara give me the second by second account.  She knows I love details and she warms my heart with her stories of their day on the way home in the car.  I'm so grateful for her.  She takes this so seriously...as you can see by her outfit.  She is one sharp dresser, let me tell you.
And this school experience would not be the same - for Gavin or for me - without her there with him.   I will always be grateful to the county, Gavin's service coordinator, the school and his teacher for saying YES to me when I asked if Sara could accompany him.  

It's just weird to hear everything on the sidelines, that's all.  But just like I do with everything I am handed - I'll get over this, too.

If you read the comments at all after some of my blog posts, you may have caught one that was posted this morning.  It was in response to my approach to Brian's recent behaviors.  I decided that there must be a reason behind his behavior.  It didn't feel right to me to "punish him" at all, so I took him on a date and "love bombed" him as I called it.  Little did I know, "love bombing" is a thing!  A lovely commenter from Switzerland wrote:

Hi Kate

this is what you've been doing with Brian, right: Oliver James:  Love Bombing Children

and it totally seems to work, congrats.
a from Switzerland

And can I just say - Holy Cow!  People are reading my journal entries in SWITZERLAND??  How cool is that!  Thank you, Regine, for the kind comment and sharing the work of Oliver James with me.  But mostly, thank you for validating me!  Let's face it - we all make up this parenting thing as we go along.  And we're all scared to death that we're going to somehow screw up our kids royally.  Oh, what's that?  Ok - maybe that's just me.  Either way - parenting is a wild ride.  Everyone finds their own way and what works for their families.  And love bombing Brian the other day really transformed him.  Each day when we get home from school we now have a new routine.  Whereas before I would get him out of the car and herd him right inside - shoes off - go pee pee - let's eat lunch - keep eating - we need to finish so we can pick up Gavin - he was always resisting.  Why was I in such a hurry?

Now, we get home and immediately it's Brian's world.  He makes the plan and I follow.  "Mommy, chase me!"  ok!  "Mommy, let's play pirates on the playground!"  ok!  "Let's dance."  ok!  And before I know it, he's saying - "Let's have lunch together."  Today, he wanted to eat outside on the deck.
He's been so pleasant to be around since our date - and since I changed the rules a little bit.

I'm very happy (and grateful) to announce that after many, many people searched the internet for "Spin the Beetle"...my longtime online friend, Serena, found it!  It's a miracle she did - the Ebay seller didn't even list it correctly.  I bought it immediately and can't wait for it to get here!!  Thank you to all of you who searched.  It was so sweet of you to help me!!

The countdown has begun for the big birthday!

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