I think since the moment Brian could walk and wanted to interact with Gavin, he heard the words "Be careful!" or "Be gentle!" or "Watch your brother!" when...in normal 'younger brother to older brother' dynamics it would have been the other way around. I definitely had to be super-protective last year after Gavin's traumatic eye surgery which I wrote about in this post last September. But once Gavin was well again and his eyes weren't sutured shut and/or covered by plastic protective shields... I realized I needed to stop being so protective.
These boys? They needed to be boys.
So when Brian gets the itch to play with his big brother, like he did this afternoon, I let him. I'm always close by to say "not so rough" or "don't pull him too hard"...today from behind my camera, of course.
I wish you could see when I hold Gavin up in a standing position and we chase Brian all around the house. For a long time. I'm pretty sure I lose a couple pounds each time we do that. And I wish I could videotape the three of us playing 'hide and seek'. I attempt to hide with Gavin while also attempting to keep him quiet while Brian would follow us counting and then shout "I did it! I did it!" two seconds after we were officially "hid" to announce he found us. You all know I love my night time dance parties, which I sometimes film on my computer... because, let's face it, wouldn't YOU want to show off if you had moves like ME? But, as we all know very well...Mommy doesn't often get in the pictures. She makes the pictures happen.
Watching Brian and Gavin "wrestle"
...even if Brian is running the show and making Gavin's hands, arms, legs do what he wants...
...is such a visual reminder to me.
Sometimes you need to just observe and not control. Sometimes you need to just trust and not worry. Sometimes you need to just let people show you what they are capable of...so you'll know that they are much more capable than you ever thought.
As I watch Brian figure out that, no, his brother can't stand up and spread his legs to become a "tunnel" for him to crawl through...I then watch him help Gavin "make" a tunnel with his leg so he can crawl under it and shout "I did it! I did it" while Gavin is beaming.
There was absolutely a reason why God allowed me to conceive so easily when Gavin was only six months old. And every day that I watch these boys interact...watch Gavin as he studies his brother...watch Brian learn from Gavin's therapists...
I am reminded just why.