Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Here's What You Missed...

I have a little story to tell...

As you know, we're planning on using an egg donor to try to conceive one last time. Things have changed in a pretty dramatic way - as our family only knows how to do things dramatically.

Before I proceed, please read THIS post about the difference between using a frozen egg donor and a fresh egg donor. It will only take a minute. If you don't read it, you won't know what the heck I'm talking about.

We were all set with a donor and I had been on meds to prepare my body for an embryo transfer. I had a few ultrasounds so they could measure my uterine lining and once it hit a certain magic number in millimeters, they would thaw the frozen egg...fertilize it...and then we'd get ready for the transfer.

God works in mysterious ways.

So, in the meantime I was working with the fertility clinic's billing department and my insurance. Using frozen eggs is somewhat new - and some insurance companies don't have actual billing codes for "purchasing frozen eggs". As many times as our insurance company told me I had coverage...the fertility clinic told me there was no actual billing code. For some reason it's illegal for an insurance company to tell someone which code to use for billing purposes (which, having worked for a health insurance company in a former life, still sounds ridiculous to me). The fertility clinic wasn't comfortable going through with our plan - even though ten different people at our insurance company told us "Don't worry, it will work out! If they submit the bill with the wrong code, we'll know that you have coverage and it will work out in the end."

The fertility clinic wasn't okay with that. I am more trusting and I believed it would work out, as the insurance company promised. The clinic has been down this road before and the last thing they wanted was to see us saddled with a HUGE (and I mean huge!) bill.

God works in mysterious ways...

So they called me one day with a proposition. They are really trying to build up their frozen egg bank with incredible candidates that are responding to their "Egg Donation" ads all over town. They are putting these women through the whole process even though they are not connected to couples who are looking to conceive...just so there are frozen eggs in their bank from great candidates. Follow? The clinic thought that, if we were willing to switch from our original "frozen egg" choice and choose from three women that were going through the process that our insurance issue would be moot.

God works, seriously, in mysterious ways!!!

My first thought was WHAT????? This is CRAZY!!!!!! We were set with our original choice and had our minds and hearts wrapped around all of it!!! The thought of, in what seemed like the eleventh hour, choosing a different donor sent me into a panic. I was so upset...


I saw the donors. Honestly? Ed and I were happy with all three. Two we liked above and beyond our original choice!!!!! God works... well, you know.

So once we chose our new donor we found out the major positives of our new plan...

For one, our doctor (who we have known since pre-Gavin!) has chosen to not make money off of us. There is a $7,000 donor fee (not covered by insurance) which they are waiving. Clearly they could have made money off of us, but chose not to. I'm so grateful for that!!!

Two, it's always better to use fresh eggs over frozen. What seemed like a negative at first has turned into a positive!

Three, my body wasn't progressing to be ready for our original choice which, in hind sight, might have been for a reason. Perhaps that original donor wasn't right for us!!!

In the end, we are getting charged the "frozen rate" for the "fresh rate" and are told to expect even better results. And we like our new choice better than our original.

God works in mysterious ways. But we know that already.

So right now I am on birth control pills while our donor prepares her body for an egg retrieval. We are looking at the end of May or the beginning of June for an embryo transfer. This gives my body plenty of time to get healthy and happy and prepared for a nine month tenant.

God, I know you work in mysterious ways - but please don't give us an embryo who is planning to break their lease? Thanks in advance.

And thanks to all of my readers for your love, support and friendship.


  1. Kate, so glad that you are happy with your new game plan. It sounds great! Holding you in our good thoughts.

  2. I love this plan and so happy He does work in mysterious ways!! I know this will work out!!!

    Lots of love...cyndi (Ps)

  3. Hey Kate ... saw this blog on blogher and though you might be interested: http://bit.ly/JboqMC


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