Last night I went into Brian's room to check on him. I found him laying on his back, his hands under his head, staring at the ceiling. Then his eyes slowly turned my way and just blankly stared into mine. Something was up. As my hand went down to touch him, the heat from his little body radiated into my palms before I even made contact. I picked him up to take him into the bathroom so I could take his temperature and give him some medicine...and he threw up all over. His temperature (after three different tests with three separate thermometers because I refused to believe each one) was 103.7. We called the doctor...again.
As soon as Ed heard the temperature he was packing our bags for the hospital. I admit - 103.7 is high. And our little Brian is very rarely sick to begin with. But for some reason - this time - I didn't panic. When the doctor called back, he said not to worry about the fever. That high fevers don't always bother kids. If it was combined with other symptoms there might be a concern - but he was happy to hear that Brian was breathing, talking, smiling and asking for milk. We gave him a Tylenol suppository and I brought him into my bed so we could watch this week's episode of "Real Housewives of Atlanta". I could say that I recently read a study that showed one episode of ANY of the Real Housewives is enough to scare anything out of anybody and I thought it may cure Brian of what ails him. But the truth is, I was just being a lazy Mom. He snuggled up next to me against my shoulder and soon his temperature was back to normal. (Please don't report me for the Real Housewives thing? We're all friends here.)
This may sound silly, but I saw last night as a turning point. For me. As a Mom. We were conditioned for so long (and in some part we still are with Gavin!) that every little thing was a big thing. Ever illness resulted in a hospital stay. Every hospital stay meant Gavin rose to the top of a thousand people's prayer chains. Every little thing was never little. So I don't blame Ed for warming up the car as soon as the thermometer beeped. But I patted myself on the back for not going there myself. For the first time in my Mommy history - I was calm. And I didn't go to that dark place that my mind typically races to.
Today has been a light day. We've been letting Brian watch Sesame Street in an effort to keep him occupied and away from Gavin. But I think we might be too late. Gavin has had a case of the crankies today and I worry that he might be coming down with this cold. Needless to say, there will be no school and no therapy for much - if any - of this week. What a drag.
We are on the road to our egg retrieval! I just got the call with my instructions to be at the doctor's office at 7:45am THIS WEDNESDAY! (A very huge, huge thank you to Miss Sara for getting here early and staying until Ed gets home from work on that day so I can recover!) This morning when I went in for my ultrasound, this is what we saw...
Eight follicles in my right ovary!
Eight follicles in my left ovary!
This doesn't mean that all sixteen will be suitable...some won't even release eggs. But it DOES mean that I'm walking a little bow legged - these suckers are big! And heavy!
Let's hope that the new cocktail of stimulation medications I was on...plus the Acupuncture I've been doing...plus all of your prayers...plus my many angels pulling for me in Heaven will help me to conceive this time around. And then let's pray that this baby sticks around to meet us.