This morning was the first time in days I had a moment to be still. Let me tell you, it's overrated. This week has been so busy as we prepare to bury my Dad. The amount of details and planning and preparing - it's overwhelming. But perhaps it's designed that way. I know for me, staying busy has been keeping me upright. But not this morning. In the stillness with nothing to do but be...I realized just how awful, how shocked, how utterly devastated I am. My Dad was my original superhero.
And now he is gone.
Tonight is the viewing. Tomorrow is the funeral mass. Saturday is his burial with military honors. My family is forgoing the traditional black funeral attire. We are all wearing shades of blue...my Dad's favorite color. You are welcome to wear blue, too. He would love that. I think he thought everyone looked their best in blue. Especially my Mom.
If you are coming, I hope you notice the details. From the music to the program notes to the eulogies to the photos you'll see displayed in the back...everything has a meaning and everything was chosen because we knew it would make my Dad smile. I know he will be there...and I am sure he will say, "Well done" to his children and my Mom. Especially with her in blue.
My Dad would only be upset about one thing. My absence from this blog. He waited for it every day. When I'd call the house he'd ask, "Did you put up your journal yet??" And he printed it out every day. Somewhere there is probably a closet with a stack of papers from floor to ceiling. My Dad made me feel like I was so special...he was my biggest fan.
The next few days will be busy - and I don't know when I'll get back to writing. Please keep us in your thoughts as these few days will not be easy.
If you missed the arrangement details, they are posted in my previous journal entry. Or you can visit the funeral home's website at www.lownes.com and search for my Dad's name.