Sunday, September 4, 2011


September is an interesting month for me. It's a happy month because it's the beginning of my favorite season, Fall. And it's happy because it's the month I gave birth to my first son. But September also comes with a reminder...that it was during this month that my life changed forever.

I remember the September of 2007. I think I was the happiest I had been in a very long time. Pregnant with my first child...anticipating his arrival in October...and filled with hope and possibilities. I was finally realizing my dream of becoming a Mom...and wanted to be just like my own Mom. A seemingly impossible task, but I wanted to give it a try.

I remember the day he was born. We had had so many "false alarms" - so many trips to the hospital for early labor - so many injections in and out of the hospital to keep contractions at bay. I remember, vaguely, that Ed was washing the car...that I was inside on the phone explaining my most recent symptoms to my OB who told me that I needed to come to the hospital to be checked out right away. I remember Ed not panicking because, well, we had done this a thousand times. We packed a bag just in case. I remember being in a little room, the concerned face, my blood pressure was so high it was near stroke level. We were going to have Gavin right away.

Still filled with happiness and hope, Ed snapped this photo of me as I laid in the Operating Room.

My plans for a natural birth with the chosen soundtrack (including "I'm Coming Out" by Diana Ross because I'm weird like that) had become a C-Section. Gavin was not only breech - but he was sideways. And he was not only sideways, he was belly up. And he was not only belly up, he was in such a contorted and twisted position that his whole face was smashed up against my side. But I was not, not me. I was sure. SO sure that everything was going to be alright. Even when faced with a quick kiss and his being whisked off to the NICU so he could get breathing assistance, I was calm. I insisted very shortly after recovery that they wheel me in to see him. And even when I did, I remember being so positive. So positive that he'd be alright.

And before I knew it, September gave way to October. And his due date came and went. We sat in that NICU every single day for a month. My hope never wavered. I knew right then that I had to keep it together. I had to be his biggest believer. His most enthusiastic cheerleader.

His first year was so difficult. With each day - and each traumatic event - I was challenged. It was hard to keep it together at times...and very hard to stay positive. But anytime I felt sorry for myself...or anytime I felt weak...I would look to Gavin. I owed it to him to stay positive. I owed it to him. I recounted his first year in the first video I ever made...which I made for his birthday.

Every September I go through this story in my mind. And every September I thank God that He has carried me through this very difficult journey. And believe me when I say...every September I look to Gavin and know that I'm looking at a miracle. The progress he has made over the last almost FOUR years would make a stone weep.
It didn't take me long to realize that I was right that day in I looked into the eyes of a concerned I saw my son being rushed out of the I laid there alone in recovery...I was right. Gavin IS alright. He really is.

And if I needed proof? Today as Ed and I unpacked groceries from the car - the boys were left alone in the playroom for a mere three minutes. I came in and couldn't find Gavin...anywhere! Soon I heard his "singing voice" and it was coming from UPSTAIRS! Gavin climbed the stairs by himself and was in our bathroom!! There are too many "greatest moments of my life" to recount...but this is definitely on that list.

And wouldn't it figure that it happened in September?

1 comment:

  1. Gavin is truly an amazing little super hero. The things he has accomplished never ceases to amaze me. Your strength is amazing as well Kate. You are an incredible Momma to some amazing boys.


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