Wednesday, September 28, 2011

On The Verge Of Four...

Tomorrow is Gavin's birthday. Four years old. On the eve of his big day, our superhero is gobbling down Minestrone in a tomato sauce with beans, rice and tons of green vegetables for dinner. Show off, eh? It takes him a while to chew and swallow these more advanced textures which give me time to type in between bites! He was on fire today. This morning, during Brian's therapy, the two of us escaped to my bedroom and he blew me away with his iPad skills. Yes...I think he's ready to graduate to four. I'm so proud of him.

Brian's teacher, Miss Christi, was the only therapist here today. I decided to try hiding with Gavin to see if Brian's behavior was different. My experiment worked! It seems that I bring out the worst in Brian - but I think I've always had that affect on boys. *wink* Christi remarked that he did a great job making choices using his words and also following directions. He even said things like, "1-2-3-GO!" and "Ready-Set-GO!" on his own during their play!

I'm almost ashamed to write this - but since when has that ever stopped me from writing anything? I'm not well, physically, at the moment. Ugh. I sort of feel like I did almost two years ago when I was being tested for Rheumatoid Arthritis and Multiple Sclerosis. For the last few mornings I have woken up feeling terrible - achy, shaky and like my legs won't hold me up. On top of that, I feel like I've had no sleep when I sometimes sleep for over 8 hours. On top of that, I've had a temporary crown on one of my teeth and it has been causing me terrible jaw pain. And on top of that, I've been nauseous every day from the birth control pills they have me on in preparation for IVF. This morning it all came crashing down. It was the worst I've felt in a long time. I decided to call the doctor who was most concerned about my aching legs. His concern was for blood clots so he told me to stop the birth control pills immediately. He's hoping that this will resolve the issues - especially the nausea - and we'll just hope for a period to come on it's own this cycle. I am devastated. All I can do is pray that this doesn't screw up this IVF cycle - which is our one and only cycle covered by insurance. The stress if rather overwhelming. Ugh Ugh Ugh. He suggested I run over to the E.R. to get checked out - but I declined. It seemed a little extreme. I'm going to see how I feel off the pill for a few days and hope and pray I start to feel better.

I had a little birthday party planned for Gavin tomorrow morning, but I canceled it. First of all, I now have an emergency dental appointment on my son's birthday - not exactly how I wanted to spend his morning. But I also didn't think I could handle it right now. I need some recovery time. So we rescheduled it to Sunday afternoon. Luckily that worked for most everyone! I feel just terrible. Why now - on Gavin's birthday?? Ugh Ugh Ugh Ugh.

But, the show must go on - as much as it can. This little boy has had an incredible year and he deserves to be spoiled tomorrow as much as possible. I can't wait to give him his gift - and reveal it here to all of you! It's pretty cool.

Gavin's journey to three was so exciting. The biggest celebration for me that year was watching him cruise the coffee table by himself one day. That moment made carrying my camera around 24/7 so worth it. It was also the year he started horseback riding...taking steps with a walker...and it was also the year he said goodbye to his sister, Darcy Claire. As I re-watched his birthday video from last year, it brought me to tears several times. I made last year's video as a bit of a tribute to all of you. I absolutely believe that much of Gavin's progress is because of the many, many people who love him, support him, cheer him on and pray for him. This third birthday video is proof that it is all paying off.'ll see.

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