Lately I feel like my days are not my own. A lot of it is my own doing, so I'm not complaining - just venting. This morning it was an ultrasound...then home just in time for Brian's therapy...then leaving with Ed to go to our IVF Orientation...then off to the pharmacy to get a script filled to treat my new condition (more on that later)...then home to say goodbye to Katja and wrangle the boys while I figure out what the heck to write about today that is remotely interesting when I have no motivation whatsoever....and soon off to the grocery store because we don't have a thing for our dinner. And that's that.
I have a lot coming up that needs to be tended to. TONS of paperwork for Gavin - benefit renewals, detailed medical history to fill out for a developmental pediatrician I want him to see, working on Gavin's birthday video before the 29th of September and keeping on top of the insurance company that is dragging out the payment for the bed that they approved for him. There's not enough hours in the day sometimes. And by the end of the day when the boys are in bed I can barely keep my eyes open. The last two days have been brutal since I saw Dr. Trish. It's like my body is detoxing all the crap that's been stored in there over the last year. Yesterday just about every inch of my body ached - down to my fingertips. Today I feel exhausted and nauseous. It's completely normal - especially since I haven't seen her in months. I feel better by picturing my body clearing itself of all the bad stuff that has been weighing me down.
This morning's ultrasound was quite disappointing but I'm trying not to let it get me down. It looks like I'll be going into my ovulation with only one follicle. And there's never a guarantee that a follicle is even carrying an egg...so this cycle could be a big waste of time. Part of me regrets putting off IVF this cycle...but I'm trying to hold onto the hope that this one follicle will be the only one we need. But, there's a glitch. The results from my Hysteroscopy came back. Turns out I have Endometritis. Endometritis is an inflammation of the uterus which women can get from multiple miscarriages, childbirth, testing...any way that an infection can enter pretty much and inflame the walls of the uterus. If you click on the link or google it it will also tell you it can be caused by STDs, but in my case that isn't the root cause. Unfortunately, I've had too many short term tenants in my uterus and the coming and going of these babies likely led to this. In my opinion, anyway. The treatment is a course of strong antibiotics which will hopefully smooth out the walls of my uterus and create a suitable home for a new baby. (Um, soon God?)
After that fun news, Ed and I headed to our orientation for IVF. If we don't get pregnant this month with my busted uterus and one follicle (but I'm not bitter) we will proceed with IVF. The visit was dramatically different than my last visit there. Last time I was alone and cried through the whole appointment. This time I brought comic relief and Ed and I laughed - almost inappropriately - through the whole hour.
This morning Brian had play therapy with Miss Christi and he did such a great job! I tried to stay away - his behavior definitely changes when I'm around. But I made Christi laugh when I stalked them like the Papparazzi...taking pictures around corners.
She remarked that his attention span was much better...he imitated words and colors and short sentences...and he even said "stop" when he didn't like what was going on. He's having a bit of a developmental explosion lately and I love it!!
Tomorrow I have a bittersweet announcement to make. I hope you'll come back for it!