Sunday, July 31, 2011

Infertility Sucks...

This morning I was up and out early to the fertility doctor. I know what you're thinking - a Sunday??? But in the infertility world, every day matters. You never know when your body will be "ready". Today I had to have an ultrasound so they could track my egg follicles. They need to be a certain size - or maturity - in order to be fertilized. The goal when you're using injectable medication is to increase the number of egg follicles. Essentially giving you more "targets" to aim for. This morning, this is what they saw...
All the black circles are egg follicles. It looks like a lot...but it won't be. I will take a final injection - probably Tuesday - to trigger Ovulation. By that point, only four will likely be the right size. Not the greatest number. But then again, it only takes one. And I'm only praying for one!

Right now my body looks like a pin cushion. I'm running out of veins that work and my legs are bruised from the injections I give myself daily. It all seems a bit unnatural and torturous, I know. But when I weigh that against our strong desire to add a child born from us to this family - it is worth it.

Since writing a post I called "Whispers of Hope" about this very topic, I've received so much mail. I'm grateful to all the women who found that post and wrote to me to share their struggles. Infertility - and also multiple miscarriages (seven for me!) - is no joke. If you think that my writing is one sided...it's not. Although I feel honored when someone tells me they took comfort from a post I wrote, the amount of support and encouragement I get from the people that write to me - it's incredible! I feel so lucky to have this forum to share my struggles - and to learn that I'm not alone.

This afternoon Brian and I took a trip to Granny and Pop's house for a visit. Being with my parents always makes me happy. I sat on the bed with my Dad to talk and it reminded me of when I was younger and I sat on their bed to talk to them after bad dates. (There were a LOT of them!!!) And later I shared laughs with my Mom as we watched Brian being...Brian. Being with my parents - and watching them with my children - reminds me why I want another child of my own. They have always made me want to be a parent so I could hopefully make MY children feel as happy and loved as they have made me feel. I'm doing my best to live up to this very high standard.

My Mom and Dad set the bar high.


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