Thursday, June 2, 2011

Playing with Angels...

What an interesting night. Despite sleeping in yesterday morning... and taking an afternoon nap... Brian went right to sleep last night at his normal 7pm bedtime. This tired Mommy was in bed and sleeping by 11. I woke up thinking I was dreaming, but quickly realized that Brian was awake at around 11:30. He wasn't crying... at all. As I laid there and listened on the monitor, it was clear to me that he was talking to someone. Why? Because when he's talking to someone he'll say "no" a lot... or he'll repeat something over and over until it's acknowledged. Like when he sees a flag. He'll say "FLAG! FLAG! FLAG!" until I say "Yes, a Flag!" I had to go in and investigate. I pulled him out of his crib and we sat in the rocker for a little while before I put him back to bed. I went in there two more times as he continued to "play" until a little after 3am!! I thought for sure that being up half the night would ruin his day. I was wrong. This morning he woke up happy and very snuggly.

I have to say, the whole experience was strangely comforting to me. Could it have been a total coincidence that he sounded like he was talking to someone in the middle of the night? Sure. But in my heart I believe he was playing with an angel or two...and that brought me great comfort on what was going to be a difficult morning for me.

Shortly after my morning snuggles, I headed to the fertility clinic to get my injectable lesson, have blood drawn and get an ultrasound. I'll be starting the injections tonight and continuing for the next six days.

After next Wednesday I will need a lot of monitoring at the doctor's office. This pretty much ruins our chance to take the kids to the beach as we had hoped which is such a bummer. While I was sitting in the waiting room waiting to speak with the doctor, I happened to be next to a woman who was very vocal about her pregnancy ultrasound. This doesn't happen every day in the fertility clinic - a pregnancy, I mean - but there's an unspoken rule among all the women. If you get pregnant, don't flaunt it. And if you have kids, don't bring them to appointments. For some women who are struggling, it can be a painful reminder of their seemingly unattainable dream. Usually I'm not bothered by much...and I know the excitement of an early pregnancy! But I suppose it got me on the wrong day. I just wanted her to zip it...and I wasn't alone. One woman had to get up and walk away as she started to cry. Infertility issues can be devastating.

I don't mind sharing this personal journey with you. I think there is too much secrecy when it comes to reproduction - secrecy about needing help and secrecy about miscarriages. Then, when it's you going through it - you don't feel you have anyone to talk to because no one is talking about these things! I'm here to break that cycle. There is no shame in any of this and if anyone gets information, encouragement or support through my experience, then it will have been worth it.

When I got home, it was time for Gavin's back to back therapies. He started with Miss Maggie for Speech Therapy and they worked with the iPad. We're still trying to teach Gavin to touch the screen. Sometimes the difficult part is teaching him to not just touch the screen - but a specific picture on the screen. He'll often touch the iPad and look so proud - but it's not in the right place. We'll get there...

He is successful now and then. Check it out :

Gavin's a trooper on the days he has one therapy after another.
After a quick mental escape...
...he was ready for his teacher, Miss Janna.

She brought a hammer and helped him hold it so he could bang little golf tees into a foam board. Clever, eh? We were all surprised that he allowed her to hold his hand on the handle for as long as he did. Gavin is very resistant to being forced to use his hands... but he quite enjoyed this hammering experience!! I was so impressed I started creating a "to-do" list for my little handyman. Free labor! Woo Hoo!

For the last two days Gavin has been very sensitive to noise. This happens every so often...and it's typically any kind of loud noise from his brother that causes him to burst into tears. So for a little part of Gavin's therapy, I ran away with Brian to his room to put him down for a nap. I couldn't resist playing for a little bit...and just watching him be Brian.

This time, there was only one angel in the room. Him.

I love my little family.

1 comment:

  1. I, too, spent time with fertility doctors and agree it IS rude for people to bring kids to the clinic. The nurses should explain to newly preggers the proper waiting room etiquette. My worst experiences though, were at the first clinic I went to as they did it all ob/gyn work which meant each time you went you sat in a waiting area full of pg women--heartbreaking.

    I've done all the injections leg, belly, tush on myself and I have no doubt you will do fine. My only advice is to check and double check that you are using the Follistim pen correctly. It can be tricky, but if used right, will deliver the correct dose and you can use up partial cartridges. Good luck!!!!

    There is plenty of time for the beach later. A hose or little pool and a sandbox are just as much fun as far as little ones are concerned.


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