Last night after putting the boys to bed I got my cry on. It was a good, long lasting, therapeutic cry. And then...I was done. I woke up this morning and started a new day. I have a hard time curling up into a ball and cursing the Heavens when I have two little boys that were sent straight from Heaven into my arms! It's hard to mourn the babies I don't have...or did have...when the babies I DO have are smiling at me and looking to be entertained. So entertain them I did. This morning we had a lot of fun.
I filled up the water table on the deck and Brian instantly got into the spirit...
...Gavin braced himself, but stood his own against the Tsunami - er, I mean his brother. We played with bubbles that we got at the beach last week - huge, gigantic bubbles that come out of this big bubble shooter. It's pretty awesome!
Gavin did a good job standing for a while and playing in the water...
Brian took off exploring in the yard and even took a little time to smell the flowers. Shouldn't we all?
Then off we went to the swingset. Gavin and Brian both love to swing - the higher, the better!
And Gavin impresses me with how well he holds himself up - even when I'm pushing him hard.
After lunch, it was time for me. I rarely do things like this, but I booked a massage. Back in May, on the first anniversary of Darcy's birth, friends from my online playgroup sent me a very generous gift card from "Spa Finder". I decided to hold it and use it on a day that I was really missing my daughter. Today seemed like the perfect day. I'm grateful in times like this to have help here. I had no reservations skipping out and leaving the boys with Miss Katja, who they adore. And I am still so grateful to my "imaginary" friends who never forget me - they are my biggest supporters.
I chose a place called Antoinette Day Spa from the Spa Finder list. I got there a little early and sat in a lovely sun room with a good magazine while I waited. I even had a cup of tea, chosen from a beautiful cherry wood box lined with velvet. I felt pretty fancy (in my flip flops, shorts and glasses).
I had a wonderful, hour long massage. I surprised myself that I was able to relax and clear my mind. Many times I have laid on a massage table and made mental "to-do" lists...but not this time. In my mind the view was the same as it was when I opened my eyes...
I'm pretty sure I even snored. It was an hour of bliss to end out a blissful day.
I do believe that everything is going to be just fine.